


Gentle Breeze

by Ackailee



Category: Heaven Official's Blessing, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, College!AU, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hualian, M/M, Past Lives, Reincarnation, Repressed Memories, Spoilers, Trauma, beefleaf, human!AU, shuangxuan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-01-11 01:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18420092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ackailee/pseuds/Ackailee
Summary: SPOILER WARNING! For the love of the gods, if you haven't read past Chapter 123 then do not read this work! It will contain heavy spoilers and will ruin the full experience of reading the original novel!!!This is a modern AU (but canon compliant) —where our beloved characters have reincarnated into the mortal realm once more, where Shi Qingxuan is a mute and timid person, where He Xuan can still remember fragments of their past lives, where Hua Cheng is a sexy-scientist-nerd student who is still the biggest Xie Lian stan, and where Xie Lian is a young future detective who wants to save everyone!





	1. Prologue

Several millennia may pass, but the restless souls of the past would never go idle. Some souls take years to be reborn, and some take a bit over a century. However, the souls that were shattered in their previous lifetimes from an agony too painful can take thousands upon thousands of years to return to the earth. And as these latter souls return to the mortal realm, it is possible that they can never heal back to it's former self.

When the once glorious Wind Master God, Shi Qing Xuan, had finally met his demise, the grief and despair he experienced overtook every inch of his soul until it had shattered. In the present day, his soul has recuperated enough to return to the mortal realm. However, the once boisterous and cheerful master of the winds was born mute and timid unlike his former self. He was a mystery to most doctors who checked his case. It was not that he had an illness or physical disability that stopped him from being able to speak, but the child simply just chose not to utter a sound. 

The Ship-Sinking Black Water, He Xuan, lived on after the events of his revenge, but the lingering sound of excited laughter and the ghostly touches of fingers playfully grabbing at his robes never left him. It was constant like a foreboding reminder. And although he was simply tolerating these actions for the sake of his plans in the past, this Demon Lord would never admit the fondness he had felt. A feeling that would never be put to rest, even as he reincarnated into several lives through the countless millennia. He was always searching for that voice, but he was never able to find it.


	2. New Student

Heavy eyes opened to the sound of loud music blaring from the alarm of his roommate. It was always like this: 6AM and yet this roommate didn't even have class until four more hours later. He spends the most of the morning stalking his long-time crush who's in the Criminology department of the university. 

After several minutes and the alarm still going, He Xuan stood up and grabbed his pillow with the ready urge to whack his sleeping roommate's face with it. But lo and behold, just as the heavy pillow was about to hit, Hua Cheng woke up and smacked the pillow away. "How are your senses sharp towards physical attacks, and yet couldn't wake up to your own alarm?"

He Xuan's words were dull, uninterested, and sounded like he was stating a fact rather than actually asking a question. His carefree roommate stretched his arms in the air and got out of bed with the grace of a swan emerging out of the sheets. In comparison to He Xuan's current appearance, Hua Cheng looked as if he didn't just spend an all-nighter studying for his midterms, remaining flawless and poised during these ungodly hours of the morning.

"Don't you have work to finish before the afternoon?" Hua Cheng asked, grabbing his things and getting ready to take a quick shower. 

"I'll deal with it later." He Xuan replied curtly, not wanting to explain further. There was actually a new student who enrolled in the middle of the semester and is currently taking a talent test in the studio where his work is at, so there's no way he's going over there to be forced to interact as an upperclassman. 

Now that he was up, he felt his stomach growl silently in protest. After waiting for a few minutes for Hua Cheng to finish his shower, he quickly followed and ignored the knowing smirk by the other man.

By the time he was done and dressed up, Hua Cheng had long left for his daily scheduled stalking for the guy who was considered quite the weirdo that no one really talked to in the Criminology department. He Xuan couldn't be bothered asking or even wondering what goes on in the mind of that roommate of his, who was quite the wanted bachelor in the Sciences department.

 

The cafeteria was surprisingly full so early in the morning, maybe from the amount of students who couldn't dare sleep and miss their morning midterm exams. He lined up on his favorite stall and waited until he could order almost everything present on the menu that morning. The kitchen staff were always so delighted to see He Xuan, since he was the only student who would order even the least popular meals in their menu. 

Students used to be so curious about this stoic albeit handsome junior from the Studio Arts department, but He Xuan's cold demeanor and expressions weren't just for show. He spoke very little, interacted very little, and cared very little for other people. So far, only professors, Hua Cheng, and a few classmates have talked to him in public. This enigmatic personality still doesn't stop many admirers from afar. 

The food he had ordered was almost rolling off his tray, but he was used to this kind of situation and carefully situated himself on the closest empty table. Just as he was seated, he looked up to see a petite figure right across the circular table with a spooked expression. 

The person across He Xuan had wavy, fluffy hair that passed just around his ears in length. He wore a pastel green sweater, sitting quietly with his sling bag still securely placed around his torso. His face looked bright yet timid, quickly picking up his emptied food tray and standing up to leave the table, clumsily disappearing through the crowded room. 

He Xuan was entranced for a long moment, his eyes transfixed on the spot where the boy who he had not even noticed was there when he decided to sit. That kind of mistake would never have been made by him, considering his distaste towards having to share a table with other people. But it did surprise him to see that peculiar character, someone who had so little presence that if he hadn't looked closely, he might not have even seen him at all. 

His absent gaze took so long that he noticed the tea in his cup had already gone cold. His eyes dropped down on the table across his tray of untouched food, and he saw a light colored hand fan that was left behind. 

 

"You just missed our cute new student. At first glance, I thought he was a girl even. He's a junior like you, transferred from this small university in the eastern provinces" One of the seniors spoke, walking with He Xuan into the studio to continue his work. "It's a shame I wasn't able to say hi, since all the girls were hogging him to themselves. He seemed too quiet, though. Maybe he was too startled by the sudden attention that he couldn't speak."

He Xuan didn't reply, but the senior could tell that he was listening intently for once. "He also uses water color as his main medium. Good, but still a little shaky with his strokes. Maybe you can teach him a thing or two. I bet he'd appreciate having a mentor..."

Before the senior could finish, He Xuan spoke up quite unexpectedly. "That would be fine."

"Wait, what?" Astonishment was in the senior's eyes, but quickly replaced by a playful smirk. "That's quite surprising, but good. Good. I'll have the girls drag him here later while you're still working. Let him observe a master at work."

He Xuan was always the type who would get engrossed in his work, someone who would allow himself to be consumed by focus while he painted. For the past few days, He Xuan had been left at a standstill with his work. His current piece needed to explore the emotion of longing, but all his professors described his work as solitude and loneliness with the lack of yearning for something more.

The theme didn't sit very well with him, and he began to be quite frustrated with it. However, this time as he picked up his brush and mixed a very deep green color against the canvass, his mind began to flow with inspiration. He was alone in the studio, mostly because no one really liked to work during the heat of the high noon sun. He Xuan didn't mind it, actually enjoying the feeling of warmth although he would never admit that kind of thought.

Time passed speedily as he painted, and he only returned to proper consciousness when his brush could no longer find a place to stroke. He moved back slowly and his eyes widened in quiet shock as he viewed the entirety of his painting. Never in his life did he imagine to paint a portrait of anyone, especially someone who he has never seen before in his life and yet gave him a sense of attachment and... yearning.

The figure in the painting was a woman in a light green-colored ruqun dress, sporting a bright smile complementing her already beautiful face. This woman's hair was blown backward and to the side as if from a strong wind, but the smile was calm and energetic at the same time, unbothered by the gust. In her hand was a paper folding fan that was opened and almost looked as if it was the source of the winds no matter how strange that thought may sound.

A sound of a foot hitting a box on the floor broke He Xuan out of his trance and he immediately whipped his attention toward the source of the sound. Unconsciously, he reached his hand out to grab at the person sneaking around the room and he was taken aback upon seeing the strange boy from earlier in the cafeteria. 

He Xuan had already stood up and was leaning close towards the other boy, holding the other's arm tightly and securely. The other boy looked so nervous and spooked that it wouldn't be surprising if he were to faint right then and there. But instead of moving, the two stared at each other for a very long moment while remaining in that same position. 

"You. What's your name?" He Xuan cleared his throat and slowly released his grip on the other boy. It didn't take him long to realize that this boy was probably the new student they had. A slender frame and slightly feminine face showing up in this very studio where he was supposed to be meeting the new student who majored in water color.

The other boy looked down and was squirming awkwardly on his spot. His hands were squeezed on the front of his sweater, and his body quivering slightly. 

He Xuan figured he frightened this boy too much from that so he opted to apologize first. "I'm sorry for that. My name is He Xuan." 

Hearing that, the new student looked up and shook his head with an expression that meant he didn't deserve an apology of any sort. He clumsily began searching through his pockets, which made He Xuan's expression switch from apologetic to confused. After an awkward long moment, the boy finally managed to take out what he was looking for and handed it over toward He Xuan while bowing his head.

It was the new student's identification card. He Xuan took the small card and read aloud the name. "Shi Qingxuan."

The boy looked up at the mention of his name and nodded his head, a very small smile forming on his lips. He Xuan felt in a daze once more as he eyed the gentle boy in front of him. 

He couldn't quite explain what he was feeling at that very moment. Seeing a smile that was barely even there. He felt familiarity and calm wash over him, and yet there was a feeling he didn't understand. His heart clenched, a pain that was faint but felt deep.

Just as the pain struck him, he immediately noticed the tears that were streaming down the other's face. It was strange, because the other was still smiling shyly and did not look any bit distressed. He Xuan was taken aback and reached out to grip Shi Qingxuan's arm which resulted to a quiet but shocked reaction. 

"S-Sorry." He Xuan removed his hands but he didn't move back. "Are you alright?"

Just as the words left him, Shi Qingxuan looked confused and tilted his head to the side. As he felt the stream of tears slightly graze the side of his lips, he reached his hands upward to touch his face. The tears continued to pour out like a stream, but the confusion on Shi Qingxuan's face was obvious that he didn't understand why this was happening. 

And the more He Xuan gazed at the other, the pain in his heart only worsened. He could still hold out any reaction, but it was soon proving to be very difficult. He somehow knew that this pain was worsening with every second that those tears were streaming down Shi Qingxuan's face.


	3. The Lady in the Portrait

Shi Qingxuan began rubbing at his eyes furiously at the hopes that the tears would somehow stop if he did. Despite his efforts, it just wouldn't stop. When he couldn't take the pressure and embarrassment of the situation anymore, he turned around and began to sprint out of the room.

 

He Xuan was left speechless for a long moment and couldn't move immediately. But as the pain subsided in his chest, he snapped back to his senses and ran outside to chase after the other boy who was surprisingly very quick with his feet. He Xuan had almost lost him had the other not stopped running to take a breather at the back of the building. 

 

No one was around and the place looked unkempt with the grown weeds and dirty pavement. Shi Qingxuan had finally calmed down and the tears down his face had already stopped. But just as it did, his eyes became teary once more as he felt a presence loom close behind him. 

 

He turned around to meet He Xuan's gaze. His expression was still mildly indifferent but his brows were scrunched and his forehead lightly dotted with sweat from running. Before Shi Qingxuan could bow his head and figure out how to apologize for his rudeness earlier, he was quickly taken aback and frozen on his spot.

 

He Xuan would never admit this moment to anyone. No one would even believe it if he did. His mind just went blank as the pain that seared through his heart began palpitating roughly once more. His arms reached out without thinking, and gently pulled Shi Qingxuan into a tight yet comforting embrace.

 

The tears that pooled over Shi Qingxuan's eyes streamed down one last time but did not pour down unceasingly anymore. Even the pain that stabbed through He Xuan's heart had stopped and now was filling up with comfort.

 

For a long while, the two stayed in that position without making a single sound. The gentle breeze was passing through like a soft melody.

 

Their ragged breaths were already calmed, but their heart beats were still quite erratic. Both were very conscious of this fact to even notice that this applied to both of them and not just themselves alone.

 

He Xuan gently released his steady grip around Shi Qingxuan's waist, and Shi Qingxuan also released his grip over He Xuan's back that he hadn't even noticed he had done. "I'm sorry." He Xuan obviously had no idea what he was even supposed to say, so he could only let out a quiet apology. 

 

His eyes were drawn downward while he awaited for a reply from the other, but he did not hear a single sound even after a long moment. Gentle and soft hands reached for his equally slender but calloused hands to grab his attention.

 

When he finally looked up, his heart sank once more as he watched the other make various symbols and gestures while his hands and arms. Shi Qingxuan was trying to sign to him saying, "It's alright." But the look He Xuan had on his face made Shi Qingxuan feel slightly disappointed. He reached into his pocket and took out a notepad the size of his palm with an equally smaller pen attached to it's spring. 

 

He Xuan watched the other began to write and took the notepad when it was offered to him. It read:

 

"I'm sorry for that. Thank you."

 

There were various scratched writing and erasures before the words 'Thank you', which meant Shi Qingxuan was also confused on what he supposed to say either and settled for a very awkward thanks. He Xuan was still processing all these information, not really expecting this kind of development at all. Everything about his interactions this day with this timid boy was absolutely wild and clumsy: The encounter at the cafeteria when He Xuan practically stole Shi Qingxuan's table and spooked him enough to make him leave, the aggressive grabbing of Shi Qingxuan from shock that there was actually someone watching him paint, and the one that takes the cake — Shi Qingxuan's sudden crying which led to a long chase down three flights of stares followed by an awkward hug between strangers nonetheless.

 

His senior did mention that Shi Qingxuan, the new student, was very quiet, but he didn't mention anything about being actually mute. He Xuan didn't understand why, but not being able to hear this boy speak made him feel... distressed. He usually didn't even care too much to listen to people talk to him. And yet he couldn't help but feel disappointed not being able to hear the other's voice.

 

 

A few more awkward interactions later, He Xuan finally managed to bring Shi Qingxuan back to the studio. They were surprised to hear so much noise inside the room and opened it to find over a dozen students crowding at one of the paintings. He Xuan already felt annoyed to see so many people in the studio already and was about to call it a day with Shi Qingxuan when his senior loudly called out to him.

 

All these students were actually crowding around He Xuan's newly finished work. "He Xuan! What is this painting? It's so unlike you!"

 

The students that were crowding around looked back and gave way for He Xuan and the senior who was now tugging at him. "If everyone didn't know that this workstation was yours, then no one would actually think you made such a thing!"

 

He Xuan looked up at the painting, a beautifully painted portrait of a lady smiling brightly with the strong breeze of her fan, pushing her hair back elegantly. One would think such a personal painting was made by a mourning husband for his wife. He Xuan began to feel troubled, feeling as though he was being mocked for the work he had done.

 

"She's so beautiful. It's so amazing, He Xuan!" A female senior stepped forward while continuing to stare at the painting. "You usually settle for landscape paintings, but this change of theme is absolutely splendid."

 

"The lady's face seems familiar." Another person in the crowd pointed out, and He Xuan froze. He didn't understand what the person meant by it, but he was feeling anxious out of instinct. 

 

"She looks very similar to —" Before the student who was already eyeing the quiet new student could finish, another person barged into the room to check what all the fuss was about. The studio professor went inside and began calling the attention of all the students who were crowding around the hallway and staying inside the studio outside their regular schedules. Most of the students were already running off before they could be caught, and the studio room was down to He Xuan, Shi Qingxuan and a few seniors. 

 

The professor was about to reprimand some of the seniors for that, but before she could speak, her eyes trailed towards the large canvass painting as well. "He Xuan. Is this yours?" 

 

He Xuan didn't respond for a moment, but proceeded to nod his head once. 

 

"I think I found my last choice for the exhibit next week." 

 

Some of the seniors gasped brightly and began congratulating the surprised He Xuan. Although he was a good painter, his works never made it to the city exhibits before, because the professors would say his work lacked emotion or a sense of identity as an artist. "Good job. I'll see you all in class next week." The professor added, and then turned her attention towards the cowering figure who was closely staying right behind He Xuan this whole time. "Mr. Shi Qingxuan? Please proceed to the faculty lounge, so we can begin discussing your weekly schedule."

 

Shi Qingxuan bowed his head towards the professor but was still hiding behind He Xuan. He hadn't noticed that the professor had already left and now wore an expression of worry, unsure where he was supposed to be going. 

 

"I'll take you there." He Xuan quietly said to him and began walking towards the door. This fidgety new student quickly ran after He Xuan like a little duckling.

 

When the two were out in the hallway, the seniors began talking about the portrait painting again. "It really does look like the new student. Perhaps, he modeled for He Xuan?" 

 

 

Shi Qingxuan was quiet the whole time the teacher was discussing his school workload. Whenever asked if he had any questions, he would shake his head and look down timidly. The professor didn't mind it and just waved it off as the student being shy to the new environment. He bowed his head after the professor led him back outside, and he quickly started staring at his dormitory assignment. There was a map of the school attached to the dormitory pamphlet, but it's never easy to maneuver through an unfamiliar place especially with the campus being as large as his old hometown in size. He was dragging with him his luggage that was delivered to the school earlier.

 

"It's getting late. You should go to the dormitories to rest." A familiar low voice spoke from behind him. Usually, Shi Qingxuan would be startled and run away from fear, but the voice sounded comforting despite the disinterested tone. He turned around and smiled brightly upon seeing He Xuan.

 

He Xuan had planned to leave after escorting Shi Qingxuan to the faculty lounge earlier, but he was too worried that the other might find trouble or get lost if he left. And so, he sat down on the waiting seats outside the lounge. He had closed his eyes and dozed off quietly while waiting. When he heard the doors open, he woke up instantly and eyed the already confused look that Shi Qingxuan had while staring at the papers.

 

When the other smiled brightly like that, He Xuan's chest would constrict ever so slightly. "Let's go." He cleared his throat and took one of Shi Qingxuan's luggage before walking.

 

Shi Qingxuan was surprised that his luggage weight was instantly halved. He hurriedly scurried beside He Xuan to try and take his luggage back but the other would not let him hold two large bags by himself. 

 

The walk was quiet, but it felt less awkward now compared to before. Shi Qingxuan had finally learned to walk right beside He Xuan instead of trailing behind him. He Xuan had been slowing down multiple times just so the other could catch up to his pace. 

 

There were different dormitories in the campus and it usually situated students in the closest one to their college buildings. However, since Shi Qingxuan came in the middle of the school year, there were no more vacancies in Arts and Sciences dormitory building, which had the most number of students. And so, they had quite the long walk towards the other side of the campus towards the Humanities and Social Sciences dormitory building. 

 

Shi Qingxuan would look up at He Xuan a lot, wondering if he was being troublesome with the distance. However, He Xuan didn't look like he minded at all and would simply nod at Shi Qingxuan whenever he caught his gaze.

 

"Can I see who your roommate is?" He Xuan asked, wanting to make sure Shi Qingxuan wasn't getting roomed with some questionable person. When he got the room assignment and read the name on the paper, his steps slowed and halted. 

 

Shi Qingxuan was surprised and started to worry slightly from He Xuan's sudden pause. He placed his luggage down and clumsily took out is notepad to write, "Is my roommate someone bad?"

 

He Xuan looked at the notepad and made an "Ah" sound, quickly shaking his head. He felt bad for making the other worry about it. "I know who this is. He isn't bad." He wanted to add that this person was weird, but he didn't feel in the right place to call other people the same term others would refer to himself. Shi Qingxuan didn't look very sure about that answer but didn't prod any further.

 

They arrived at the building and got up to the fourth floor. He Xuan still looked very poised after climbing the last step, but Shi Qingxuan was left behind one floor down from exhaustion. And so, He Xuan left the luggage he held and went back down to take the other luggage to bring it up. Shi Qingxuan kept bowing his head apologetically. 

 

The door to Shi Qingxuan's room was slightly agape and the two eyed the door very cautiously. They heard a series of crashing sounds inside which made Shi Qingxuan jump in surprise. He Xuan moved forward and pulled Shi Qingxuan behind him before grabbing the handle and opening the door suddenly.

 

Inside were two figures tangled in a very compromising position on the floor just a few feet away from the door. The person lying with his back to the ground was none other than Shi Qingxuan's roommate, Xie Lian, and the one on top of him was of course none other than He Xuan's own roommate, Hua Cheng. Four pairs of eyes exchanged awkward glances at each other without making a sound. 

 

He Xuan slowly shut the door once more and grabbed Shi Qingxuan's wrist. "Let's go find somewhere to eat first then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually quite busy with school at the moment, so I won't be having any specific regular schedule of updates for this ;-; Anyway, I hope you liked the short chapter!!


	4. San Lang

Hua Cheng was especially excited today, because he was able to talk to his crush the day prior. Well, there really wasn't any talking involved but he did get to hold Xie Lian's hand. But then again, Xie Lian was blindfolded for a practical examination so the other probably didn't even know or care who was holding his hand.

Criminology students were staying in the Science laboratories yesterday for a practical exam on investigating a table full of clues with handicaps. Unfortunately for Xie Lian, his handicap was to be blindfolded, the most difficult one. And he was the only one who got this unlucky draw as well.

If there were any laboratory volunteers available, they were assigned to guide the handicapped to the test laboratory. 

Hua Cheng already knew this was happening that day and so he signed up immediately for the position. 

The moment he saw Xie Lian be guided into the room with a blindfold on, his heart stopped for a moment only to start palpitating nonstop. Although on the outside, he looks very composed and unaffected, he was having various internal conflicts on how to proceed.

Without saying a word, Hua Cheng gently scooped up Xie Lian's hand and held it gently on top of his palm. He kept a steady pace in leading the other inside to avoid the other from tripping or such. 

Hua Cheng knew that Xie Lian was a natural at doing this exam even with his vision handicapped, which made him especially proud. When Xie Lian's time was finished, he was gently led back outside, and Hua Cheng said a quiet but sweet congratulations to him.

Xie Lian quickly removed his blindfold and was slightly disoriented with the bright light at first and wasn't able to see the person who was helping him earlier.

Today, Hua Cheng wanted to see Xie Lian in their early morning self-defense class. It always fascinated him how much more physically tiring the other's department was, where depending on one's major, some were required to perform extraneous activities. 

The sounds of heavy jogging steps could be heard from up ahead. The jogger's path of the school was usually being used by the athletes during this time, so the self-defense class had to settle for jogging around the pavement of the Humanities plaza.

It didn't take Hua Cheng more than five seconds to spot his beloved, shining brightly as ever in his eyes. Xie Lian didn't look like he would be very fit but in comparison to the other students, he was doing very well in jogging at a steady pace without needing to rest every few minutes. Under all that worn out exercise clothes was a body with surprising strength.

Usually, Hua Cheng wouldn't be seen by anyway during his stalking times, but there have been an annoying bunch who have noticed every once in a while. He easily ignored these people, but little did he know that he was already causing a huge misunderstanding with a few students.

 

"It's Hua Cheng again..." One student whispered with a giggle, sounding excited while maintaining a straight face during her jog. 

"I wonder who it is he's been visiting every time?"

"Maybe it’s... or..." Many names were mentioned in between quiet whispers, but not one was ever correct on who Hua Cheng was truly here for. 

A lot of ladies and a few men were already placing bets on each other, pushing some to go ahead and approach him. The whole campus already knew that this mysterious and provocative prince was at least bisexual. They didn't need to make a big deal about it themselves since the man himself openly admitted that he doesn't care about gender when it comes to his beloved. This kind of statement only made his status more well acknowledged rather than criticized.

The crowd of gathering gossipers grew so much that they had effectively blocked most of the path for the jog. Xie Lian was confused as to what the commotion was about and piped in with a gentle tone. "What are we talking about?"

Most of the students jumped at the sound of Xie Lian joining in and most of them just fell silent, trying to look away or pretend that they didn't notice he was there.

Xie Lian wasn't knew to the treatment anymore and he was more than aware of it, however, he still did want to interact with his classmates which is why he would still try nevertheless. He figured that no one would start talking again unless he left so he just awkwardly moved back and tried to squeeze in the side so he can continue jogging.

Without meaning to, Xie Lian tripped against someone's shoes and he crashed onto the rough pavement. 

"It wasn't my fault! He fell on his own." One of them spoke up, defending himself while looking annoyed towards Xie Lian. In the eyes of the others, Xie Lian probably did it for attention again. He was always given special treatment by professors because of his clumsy tendencies, and the class hated that the most.

"Hey!" One of the students pushed forward and gave him a glare. Xie Lian steadied himself on the ground and didn't dare move or else everyone would see the tear on his pants and his bleeding knee. He didn't want to cause any more trouble.

Just as the one who moved forward was about to grab at Xie Lian's back, another hand stopped it and flicked it backward. 

Gasps and quiet whispers filled the silence, and Xie Lian felt like he was ready to run away while everyone was somewhat distracted. But before he could move, he could feel someone else's body against his. Long arms slipped under his knees and gently cradled his back before lifting him up effortlessly. 

Although being of average height for a male his age, Xie Lian was still a considerably heavy person with his bone structure. But as he was being lifted up, it almost made him appear light as a feather and visually smaller. 

His first response was to reach for his knees and cover the wound, but it has already been very well seen by the others. He slowly looked up at the person who lifted him, and the face he saw left him in awe for a very long moment. 

Hua Cheng was already amazingly handsome from a distance, and so seeing him up close like this would make anyone's heart flutter and beat erratically- or at least that's what Xie Lian was telling himself.

They already reached the closest building before he broke away from his embarrassing staring and became slightly flustered. "I'm alright! It doesn't hurt at all." Saying he was used to getting injured was a more appropriate answer, but he didn't want to say something so depressing after all.

"It might get infected." Hua Cheng answered with a low voice, somewhat sounding irritated and distressed. 

When they arrived at the ground floor clinic, there was only a student nurse around. She immediately recognized Hua Cheng and offered her help. But Hua Cheng simply asked for a first aid kit and that he'd do it himself. 

The nurse didn't have the words to decline and did as she was asked, quickly retreating back shyly to the front of the clinic. Xie Lian was brought behind the curtains and gently placed on top of bed. 

Xie Lian had been observing and looking at the other the entire time, but Hua Cheng was too focused on the injury to look up. 

Hua Cheng began to roll the pants up gently, careful not to graze the wound on Xie Lian's knees. "I'll wash it first." His voice was a lot calmer now and very gentle. 

The wet cotton swab was patted over the mild abrasion, cleaning up the dirt from the pavement. Xie Lian didn't move an inch or show any sign of pain from this which made it easier for Hua Cheng to finish cleaning it up. After pouring some medicine and covering it up with a bandage, Xie Lian felt good as new. 

"Thank you..." He said but paused, feeling ashamed for not being able to say the other's name.

"You can call me San Lang." Hua Cheng got up and sat down beside Xie Lian. "Does it feel uncomfortable?"

Xie Lian smiled and shook his head. "It doesn't. Thank you, San Lang. But... why were you there earlier? Are you a new student?"

"I was simply passing by. I'm a junior in the Biomedical Sciences department."

"That's quite a walk around the campus. I hope you're not late for your classes! I apologize for the trouble I've caused you." Xie Lian imagined how far the Sciences department was from this side of the campus and couldn't help but worry. "Ah! How rude of me. My name is Xie Lian. I'm a senior in the Criminology department."

"Don't worry, gege. It was no trouble at all." 

Xie Lian can't help the smile on his face upon hearing the familiar gege from the other. "Then, would you allow this gege to walk you back to your class?"

Hua Cheng was surprised upon hearing the offer, but he was finding it very difficult to oppose such a request. "I don't mind at all." He smiled back. 

When Xie Lian stood up from the bed, the rolled up side of his pants fell back down to reveal the dirty and torn cloth. Hua Cheng bit his lip and quickly opened up his bag.

"San Lang?"

"Please change into these, gege. I apologize for the cheap cloth it has. But please accept these only for now since your clothes are torn." Hua Cheng offered his comfy exercise clothes that he usually wears when going out to the shore near the school to collect specimen for their class.

Xie Lian was about to decline the offer out of embarrassment but Hua Cheng had already moved out of sight to give him privacy in changing. 

When he was done changing, he neatly folded his old clothes and held them tight over his chest. He didn't have much money to be wasting on new clothes, so he was going to mend these when he gets back to the dormitory.

When he heard San Lang say cheap cloth, he didn't expect these clothes to seem brand new instead. Now he wondered what expensive clothes would be like to San Lang.

"Thank you, San Lang." Xie Lian pushed the curtain back. Hua Cheng turned around and had to internally calm himself from not jumping on Xie Lian who looked adorable in his clothes that were obviously one size larger. 

 

The two began to walk slowly through the campus. Hua Cheng was already going to be late at this pace, but he didn't care because he was with his most beloved right now. They talked quietly with each other the entire time, choosing light topics and laughing at one another's joke every so often. 

Xie Lian hasn't felt this peaceful while walking with a friend for such a long time. But when the thought reached him, he quickly felt ashamed for assuming that they were already friends.

"Gege? What's the matter?" Hua Cheng was quick to pick up the sudden drop in the other's expression.

"It's nothing." Xie Lian chuckled nervously and waved his hand about. "Here is your building! Don't be late now, alright?"

"Where does gege eat lunch?" Hua Cheng asked before they parted, truly curious because he could never figure out where the other ate among the many cafeterias in the campus.

"Uhm. I usually eat at my dormitory room after passing by a convenience store right outside the school or if I'm given some extra uneaten breakfast meals by the kind cafeteria ladies." Xie Lian answered, realizing too late how embarrassing it was to say that out loud.

"Can I eat lunch with gege? I will be bringing lunch so please wait for me." Hua Cheng immediately asked, feeling concerned.

"But San Lang, I should be the one bringing food for you since you helped me earlier." 

"Gege has kindly walked me back to my building even with that injury, so it the debt has already been paid. But because gege will also be walking back to the other side of the campus alone again, please let me offer at least lunch." Hua Cheng answered with an impenetrable charisma that was very difficult to counter.

Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, since the argument seemed so simpleminded, but he didn't have the heart to argue either. "Alright." After Xie Lian gave the other his room details, Hua Cheng offered a smile that was so mesmerizing, the image was carved into Xie Lian's thoughts for most of the morning.


	5. Gege can cook for me

Clearing his deliverables in class faster than those who were actually on time in arriving, Hua Cheng was more mesmerizing than he already was in the eyes of his classmates and professors. Once he was free of other tasks, he began thinking about what he was going to buy for his Gege later.

It had finally dawned on him that earlier wasn't some wild dream and that he actually did just interact with Xie Lian and that they were really going to have lunch together later as well. 

A lot of his classmates were quick to notice his good mood and used this to their advantage knowing this Sciences chairperson of theirs was a much more agreeable person when he was in a good mood.

When they carefully suggested having a little dinner meeting tomorrow night to talk about the upcoming project expo, Hua Cheng approved it without question and even suggested they go to a barbecue place which made everyone sing praises to the gods. 

Whatever it was that was giving their chairperson such a wonderful mood, they hoped it would continue indefinitely or at least until they get their barbecue dinner tomorrow night.

When lunch time finally came, Hua Cheng was first to leave the classroom and race downstairs while maintaining incredible poise and bearing. 

The campus was large enough to have this little food plaza where students could go to when they were finally sick of the cafeteria food. Hua Cheng had already contacted one of the more expensive restaurants to prepare two meals for him. When he got there to pick up the food, a lot of heads were moving to stare at him like usual. 

This meant that they were also quick to pick up that Hua Cheng bought two meals from the store and had them to-go. But before some of the dedicated fans could follow after him, he had already disappeared out of their sight. 

Aside from being incredibly quick on his feet, none of them actually thought that Hua Cheng would take the less used path that led to the other side of the campus instead so they couldn't find him anywhere.

 

Xie Lian, on the other hand, was the focus of mild harassment from his classmates to ask about how he was so close with Hua Cheng. He couldn't give any other answer except that it was actually the first time that they interacted. 

A lot weren't so accepting of that answer since it didn't seem to make sense. They already knew Hua Cheng was always admiring someone in their class from afar, but none of them would accept the possibility that it could actually be this cafeteria leftovers student. 

There were tons of speculation about their relationship: perhaps relatives wherein Hua Cheng wouldn't allow that information to be leaked or maybe Xie Lian was being used as a bridge by Hua Cheng to learn more about the true person that was admired. 

But what they were most confused with was how Xie Lian referred to Hua Cheng as San Lang, a name they've never heard before. 

To say that Xie Lian was being bullied wouldn't be a very true statement. Although people spoke behind his back and didn't particularly like him, they never felt the essence of bullying since Xie Lian was the type who would still smile at them despite knowing how they thought of him. So, it was fairly easy for him to shake off these people after class to leave on his own.

Xie Lian was already well on his way to the dormitories to meet up with San Lang there for the promised lunch. But before he could step out of the building, a professor called his attention to speak with him regarding a new dormitory assignment. 

This talk took longer than expected because Xie Lian had to be explained properly of the situation of his new roommate, including the reason for the sudden move to the university in the middle of the school year and why he was staying at the Humanities Dormitory despite being an art student. 

When it was finally over, Xie Lian was surprised to see how much time had passed and began to panic because he had promised to meet up with San Lang over half an hour ago. He began to sprint to the direction of the dormitory and began to worry whether or not San Lang would even be still waiting there for him. 

He completely forgot about the pain on his leg from the injury and just went ahead to run as fast as he can. Of course, Hua Cheng waited there patiently, knowing his Gege would show up any time. He didn't think badly about the lateness and simply assumed that Xie Lian's class wasn’t over yet. He could wait the whole afternoon and still wouldn't think badly. 

As Xie Lian's form was fast approaching like a bullet train through the stone path, Hua Cheng was a little surprised with an eyebrow raised. 

Seeing that San Lang was still there waiting for him patiently at the entrance to the dormitory, he sighed in relief with closed eyes. Doing this, he had lost balance and ended up toppling forward when he was only a few more meters away. 

Hua Cheng quickly ran up to Xie Lian and lifted him up. "Gege! Are you okay?" He sounded anxious and checked the other for any injuries. 

"I'm alright. It's nothing serious. I just twisted my ankle a bit." Xie Lian answered with a nervous laugh. Hua Cheng paused and had an unreadable expression on his face this time. 

"San Lang...? I promise I'm alright. No need to take me to the clinic again." Xie Lian couldn't finish before he was handed the paper bags of food to hold across his chest. Within seconds, he was being lifted up bridal style again by Hua Cheng. "S-San Lang!"

"Please be more careful, gege. You were already injured this morning. I'm beginning to think that I bring nothing but injuries your way." Hua Cheng looked away and began to walk towards the dormitory. There were no other people around since most students have lunch elsewhere. 

"That's not true! I am actually always like this. Injuries are normal to me." The words already left his mouth before he could realize how much more depressing that sounded. 

Hua Cheng didn't respond but Xie Lian could tell that he was gritting his teeth and was in a tense mood. 

When climbing up the stairs, Xie Lian was beginning to feel conscious because of his weight. "San Lang, you can put me down now. I promise I can walk."

"It's best for Gege to rest his legs for the meantime." Hua Cheng answered curtly which left Xie Lian with no more arguments. 

He was finally put down when they got into his dorm room and was gently lowered onto the bed. "Thank you, San Lang." He quietly said and offered the paper bags back to Hua Cheng, who was pulling a table closer to the bed and moved to sit beside Xie Lian. 

"I wasn't sure what would be gege's taste. I apologize if this meal isn't the best." Was what he said but when the food was uncovered, Xie Lian can't help but gape a little at the amount of food in front of him. He ate so little during lunch because that's when there was the least number of leftovers that he could ask for during the day. 

"San Lang! This must have been so expensive. I'm not sure how I can return this favor next time."

"Then perhaps, gege can cook for me." Hua Cheng smiled softly. 

Upon hearing that, Xie Lian felt excited. He never got the chance to cook so much after entering university. It wasn't that he was good at cooking, but rather he just really enjoyed it as a hobby and hoped to get better at it. 

"Let's eat." Hua Cheng offered the biggest bowl to Xie Lian and would keep offering him up most of the food. Xie Lian couldn't help but feel a little conscious that Hua Cheng kept staring at him while they were eating and was beginning to think that he had something on his face or was eating something the wrong way.

"San Lang..." He quietly called but didn't have the heart to say anything further. 

"Yes, gege? Did you like the food? The expression on your face makes me a little worried..." He honestly answered, and Xie Lian finally understood what this was all about. He let out a chuckle and mentally laughing at himself for being worried and conscious the whole time and making Hua Cheng misunderstand the expressions he was making. 

"It's very delicious, San Lang. It's been so long since I last ate such a filling meal like this." He admitted and missed the pained expression that Hua Cheng would make every time he would say such things. 

"Then I'll make sure to eat with gege every time to make sure you eat properly." 

Xie Lian was a little surprised by that statement, but he didn't want to admit that he actually liked the idea as well. No one in his class was truly willing to spend time with him like this and Hua Cheng in particular made him feel very wanted. But he also couldn't dismiss the thought that this was all out of pity for him, and that this would only be a fleeting encounter that would never happen again. 

"Gege. Are you sure you're feeling well?" Hua Cheng had been observing his every expression the entire time, so it was impossible to miss the slight shift from endearment to guilt. "Do you have any more classes for the rest of the afternoon? If not, it's best you stay here and rest alright?"

"Does San Lang need to leave already?" It wasn't his intention to sound hurt but it was hard to mask as well. 

"I have an exam in a few minutes, but it's not a big deal if I'm late."

"N-No! You must not be late for such a thing." Xie Lian began fixing up Hua Cheng's things and tugging for him to get up. Hua Cheng was being slightly difficult but finally got up to run over to his class. 

Xie Lian quickly began to keep whatever food could still be eaten for later, not wanting to waste it by throwing them away or by eating them all right now. When he stood up, he felt the pain from his ankle spring upward again, falling back down onto his bed. "This should go away after a good nap..." He optimistically said with a nervous expression as he pushed himself to lie down properly on the old mattress. 

Before falling asleep, he couldn't help but wonder when he would ever get to meet Hua Cheng again. Any time soon would be most unlikely, and they never even got the chance to exchange contact information. 

It felt as though his eyes had just closed when he was woken up by the sounds of footsteps inside his room. He was reminded that he was going to have a roommate today and sprung himself upward and off the bed in a panic, remembering that he never even managed to clean the room. Just as he jumped out of the bed like that, he tumbled and lost balance from the pain on his ankle. 

"Gege!" Hua Cheng dropped the grocery bags he was carrying and managed to grab Xie Lian in time. But with the awkward position and shock from seeing Hua Cheng again, he slipped once more and ended up pulling Hua Cheng down with him. The door was slammed open and two unfamiliar faces were outside, staring at the very compromising position they were found in. 

"Let's go find somewhere to eat first then." The one in a black jacket calmly said before closing the door once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the super late update. I won't be updating this for a while because it's crunch time for finals! And a crawling senior student can only go so far ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚
> 
> But I hope you liked the chapter and would patiently wait for the next update ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )


	6. A Next Time

"I apologize for that." He Xuan said while he still held Shi Qing Xuan's hand as they walked down the stairs. They had left the baggage outside the door, hoping Xie Lian would get the memo that it's his new roommate's things. "The one in red was my roommate."

Shi Qing Xuan was still being dragged, so he couldn't take out his notebook to ask a question. When they got back outside, He Xuan turned towards the other. "Do you like barbecue? There's a close shop here and it's cheap." The smaller one smiled brightly and nodded his head, beginning to forget that they were still holding hands. Shi Qing Xuan didn't mind it at all, because he weirdly liked the feeling of He Xuan's cold hands.

When they arrived at the shop, they immediately captured a few eyes but He Xuan was used to ignoring strange looks. Shi Qing Xuan, however, felt very shy and tried his best to stay close to the other as they walked. Luckily, the shop had tables separated by wall frames and curtains so it was fairly private which was why He Xuan liked the place despite there being better barbecue places nearby.

He Xuan casually led Shi Qing Xuan to sit on the other side without really thinking in too much about how he had been holding the other's hand for the past half hour. When they got seated, a waiter arrived to hand over the menu. He Xuan went ahead to order his usual meal then waited for Shi Qing Xuan. The waiter looked down at Shi Qing Xuan with a rude look since he was pointing at the menu rather than saying the order immediately. But as soon as the waiter looked over at the glarimg He Xuan, he quickly repeated their orders and rushed out the curtain.

Shi Qing Xuan finally had the chance to take out his notebook and start writing for He Xuan. "Do you know my roommate?" He wrote down.

"Yes. His name is Xie Lian from the Criminology Department, though I'm sure the professor already told you this. I also know that he has terrible luck and is not very popular in his department. The professors seem to like him though, especially the Dean of their department, Professor Jun Wu, but the students try to avoid him as much as possible."

"Why is that so? He was described to be very kind and bright." Shi Qing Xuan hand was very quick to write on the small notebook.

"I don't know either. Hua Cheng, my roommate from earlier, only says good things about him too so there's not much I can explain."

A small blush crept up on Shi Qing Xuan's face as he wrote the next words. "Are they a couple?"

He Xuan paused and froze for a long minute, his expression still remaining the same and his posture still slouching slightly. Shi Qing Xuan started to worry and fumbled with his hands in trying to figure out what to say next.

"As far as I know... They just met." He Xuan finally replied with a focused gaze on the table as if trying to make sense of it all.

Shi Qing Xuan was equally taken aback. He wanted to ask more, but it didn't seem like the kind of topic that was comfortable to talk about. Good thing another waiter came in with their orders. As food was stacked down on the table, Shi Qing Xuan was starting to get overwhelmed by how much food was being placed down. Did the waiter get the wrong table? There were only two of them there after all, but it looked like a feast for ten.

"Is anything else missing from your orders, sir?" The waiter asked with a huff of exhaustion from bringing all that food.

"No. Everything is all here." He Xuan answered with certainty.

"Are we expecting more guests?" Shi Qing Xuan lifted his notebook in alarm towards He Xuan.

"No. I don't like eating with too many people. Why?"

Shi Qing Xuan placed his notebook down and stared nervously at the table filled with delicious but very plentiful food. "Hey." He Xuan took his chopsticks and started filling his plate. "You need to eat, okay? You're very thin and pale as if you haven't eaten anything the entire day."

It wasn't the food that made Shi Qing Xuan most worried right now, but he was too ashamed to say anything. He reached slightly for his wallet inside his pocket to try and check if he had enough to pay at least half of this whole table. He purposely chose to order the cheapest thing on the menu even if it wasn't anything filling, because his allowance wouldn't allow more than two meals a day at most. He even skipped breakfast earlier just so he'd have enough to save for new painting materials by the weekend.

He Xuan took a glimpse over the table and quickly understood what was wrong. "Tonight is my treat." He said, which made Shi Qing Xuan jump unexpectedly. "I was the one who wanted to eat here, and I dragged you all the way here without asking. "

Shi Qing Xuan quickly wrote his response on his pad with an ashamed face. "I can pay half!" His hand was gripping the end of his sweater very tightly, feeling his heart sink as this would mean he'll need to give up previous savings from the past week.

But the other was no longer looking up to read his words and only focused on eating the food on the table. Shi Qing Xuan looked down shyly and placed his notepad back down beside him. His hand was a bit shaky when picking up the chopsticks and taking a bit of vegetables onto his plate.

He Xuan finally looked up to observe him, and he had a strange feeling while staring at the other boy. Shi Qing Xuan was not only very thin, but his posture was very... odd. He would only use one arm to do everything, and this one arm wasn't very coordinated to begin with. This would make anyone wonder how this boy could manage to pick up a pencil and draw steadily. Even when he uses his other arm to hold the notebook he uses to communicate, it's not really gripping or exerting much force.

"What's wrong with your other arm?" He Xuan found himself asking, feeling regret almost immediately when he saw Shi Qing Xuan's expression grow shocked then sorrowful. But before he could take back his words, Shi Qing Xuan was already writing.

"My left arm is partially paralyzed." He was still able to raise his arms and use it for basic gestures, but it no longer had the more complex movements like moving each individual finger or gripping anything heavier than his small notebook. It was also quite difficult for him to always exert force on it, since it would harden from time to time.

He Xuan bit down on his lip and wished he never asked so suddenly like that. It wasn't like him to be so considerate, but meeting Shi Qing Xuan made him feel an unexplainable attachment to the other.

"But its okay. One arm is enough." Shi Qing Xuan wrote again and looked at He Xuan with a soft smile. Although it still looked sad, it was a face that could make the most aggressive soul feel soothed.

The next few minutes were extremely awkward for the both of them. But as the more Shi Qing Xuan kept avoiding the delicious assortment of meat and kept going for the steamed vegetables, He Xuan had taken the initiative to place food directly on Shi Qing Xuan's plate and refusing to continue eating unless the other would eat it what he offered. Most of the food still went to He Xuan's monster appetite, but Shi Qing Xuan was feeling incredibly full. He has never eaten this much before, and it made him feel guilty for enjoying the meal too much despite knowing that he needed to save up his money for more important things.

When the waiter arrived for their bill, He Xuan paid in full cash too quickly for Shi Qing Xuan to pull out his own money. "Like I said, I'm paying for tonight."

Shi Qing Xuan would whine right now if he could, and he couldn't stop himself from feeling more and more embarrassed since he knew that He Xuan probably saw him checking his wallet earlier. "Then I will treat you next time." He bravely wrote and raised up for He Xuan. But as soon as he saw the surprised expression on the other, he retracted his notebook and looked down. "What am I thinking? Next time? Why would there be a next time..." His mind lingered sadly.

"I'll look forward to that then." Hearing those words, Shi Qing Xuan looked up with slightly teary eyes. "Anywhere is fine. I'm not picky with food." He Xuan added as he shifted from his seat to get up.

Shi Qing Xuan's face lit up once more with the most gentle and genuine smile. He Xuan took one look, and it was too difficult to ever look away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I have returned from the dead. I missed #shuangxuan/beefleaf week on twitter (ノ´Д`)ノ I bring dishonor to my cow. 
> 
> But anyway, I have graduated, gotten a job, passed the training, and now back in the groove of things once more. It was difficult to sit down and take time to start writing again especially during the last few months. My writing is probably very bad or mediocre right now OTL but I'll do better next update. It's a lot harder to get settled after graduating than I thought.
> 
> I hope I can start giving out more updates faster or at least once a week. (´∀｀)♡ big thanks to everyone who left a kudos even after seeing that this hasn't been updated in a while.


	7. Brother

By the time Shi Qing Xuan returned to his dormitory room, the sun had already set and his things were already nowhere in sight where he left them earlier. He Xuan wouldn't allow him to go back on his own, so he was really led back to the front of his door. 

He Xuan was already turning away without saying a word, but Shi Qing Xuan gripped the back of his coat tightly. He opened his mouth, and He Xuan could feel his chest tighten. But of course Shi Qing Xuan couldn't speak. No voice would still escape those lips no matter how much He Xuan internally craved to hear this familiar boy's voice. In the back of his mind, it confused him how much he knew exactly how Shi Qing Xuan would sound if the boy could speak. It would be a voice filled with happiness and excitement, a tone as soothing and chaotic at the same time like a gentle breeze or a hurricane. Although the constant silence between them was comforting, it was still unbearable every time He Xuan thinks that he would hear the other speak. 

Shi Qing Xuan could only bow his head respectfully towards He Xuan to thank him for leading him back. He watched as He Xuan walked down the stairs and waited a bit longer outside the chilly hallway before moving to enter his new room.

The lights inside were still on and another person inside the room was cleaning out any remaining specs of dust around the walls near the newly prepared bed. Xie Lian stopped and looked back when he heard the door open. "Ah! Hello... I'm sorry I wasn't able to introduce myself properly earlier. My name is Xie Lian, and I will be your roommate." He approached the other and extended his arm towards Shi Qing Xuan, who quickly took it and firmly shook his hand. The smaller of the two can tell that Xie Lian was pretty strong from the grip of that handshake despite appearing very timid and meek. The room looked old but well kept. There were so little things inside that it would make anyone think that both of them just moved in. Though it wasn't overly clean, so Shi Qing Xuan could breathe a sigh of relief since he wasn't so good at cleaning nor was he very careful about keeping his room in order. 

Shi Qing Xuan couldn't pinpoint a single thing, physically speaking, about this person that would make him unpopular or unlikable. His soothing presence was very nice and it left an easy smile on his face just listening to the other speak. Xie Lian had the kind of aura that was honest and lawful, but at the same time his eyes looked distantly sad. It was a look Shi Qing Xuan was awfully familiar with.

"I have cleaned your desk and placed the sheets on your bed already. Your things are over there by the window." Xie Lian led him further into the medium-sized room that was just enough for the both of them to stay comfortably in. "I heard from the professors that you are a scholar, then we are the same then." 

Shi Qing Xuan nodded his head and took out his notebook to write. "It's so nice to meet you, Xie Lian."

"Likewise. Please go ahead and settle down your things so you can rest afterwards too. This room has its own bathroom, so you also don't need to worry about going down the hall to the shared baths." 

After showing all that Shi Qing Xuan needed to know for now, Xie Lian disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower. It was very much impossible for this man to be unliked, Shi Qing Xuan repeated several times in his head. Inconceivable! 

Despite his plans to prepare for his official first day attending lectures tomorrow, the day was eventful enough to take out his energy so early in the evening. It didn't help that the bed was much more comfortable than what he was used to. Before he could finish unpacking his first luggage, he had already fallen asleep over his bed with one leg still dangling over the bed. 

Xie Lian got out of the bathroom and saw his roommate in a very uncomfortable sleeping position. He very gently moved both Shi Qing Xuan's legs up the bed and pulled the blanket over him. He was glad that the other didn't act awkward around him or reminded him about the incident he just saw earlier with Hua Cheng. He had been rehearsing for an hour on how he could possibly explain what just happened earlier. There was even someone with Shi Qing Xuan earlier, and to Hua Cheng's surprise, it turned out to be his own roommate as well. Xie Lian was the type to never realize how late it was or how tired he was already, but seeing that his roommate had already fallen asleep, he figured that its about time for him to rest up as well. 

His ankle was feeling a lot better now, but it still stung slightly when he applied too much pressure on it. Hua Cheng promised to come again tomorrow morning to check up on him, and it honestly made Xie Lian feel excited for the next day. It was still difficult to believe that someone as handsome and amazing as Hua Cheng would care for him like this, but he also felt the sincerity from the other and cannot simply shut him down.

...

"Ming-xiong!"

He Xuan pushed himself off his bed suddenly, startled from the voice that called out so closely against his ear. He could feel the cold sweat sticking on the back of his shirt despite how cold it was inside the room, and his hands were trembling slightly while gripping on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, you scared me for a second there. I thought you were gonna hit your head on the top bunk." Hua Cheng inquired while picking up the fallen blanket beside the bed, raising his eyebrow towards the quiet roommate. "You woke up very late today, don't you have early cla-"

He Xuan was already running to the bathroom before Hua Cheng could finish talking or even stop him since the other was about to go in as well. It was definitely not normal for him. Before the sun could even peek from the horizon, he would already be up. He never had any bad sleeping habits either since nothing would get his attention enough to stay up late unless it was finals week. And even if it was as busy as finals, he still manages to finish his work fast enough to sleep early. Hua Cheng described him as someone who needed so much sleep and food it was strange and somewhat insatiable. 

His head was spinning from the steam of the shower and from that distinct voice that continued to whisper against his ear. He knew he's heard it before, and he can't help but associate a face to it. Although the memory was blurry but all he sees was that woman he painted yesterday while he was on a daze. The name calling him was unfamiliar though, but it still struck him as something distantly intimate. But despite the voice being soft, it was undeniably a man's voice. Now there was only one face he could associate it with, but he of all people should now how impossible that would be. 

When he got to his class, he was close to being late which shocked a lot of his classmates. As much as they wanted to interrogate him about it, the professor had arrived and urged everyone to take their seats. At the back of the room that was closest to the door was where He Xuan usually sat down, but since it was a bit difficult to hear the professor from this distance, not many stayed here. 

But today, there was someone sitting right beside his usual spot. He looked up to see a bright smile and a slight movement of lips that almost made him anticipate something again. But the voice still wouldn't come, and it frustrated him more than he would ever admit. Because of his sour expression, Shi Qing Xuan was taken aback and quickly looked down with a sad expression.

"Good morning." He Xuan greeted with a quiet voice as he sat down beside the other.

"You seem tired." Shi Qing Xuan slowly slip his small notebook towards He Xuan, who began writing below the words instead of talking to avoid catching the professor's attention. "I slept late." He answered back a lie because it was easier to say than having to explain that he kept waking up in the middle of the night and ended up getting up late as well.

Shi Qing Xuan didn't press any further questions, seeing that He Xuan was feeling tired. In comparison to He Xuan who actually manages to pay attention selectively, Shi Qing Xuan's attention was all over the place. He seemed like such the perfect student, but it turned out he was more interested in staring at the window and making small doodles all over his notebook. Since he was mute, the teacher avoided picking him for recitations and ended up not calling his attention at all. He Xuan wasn't sure if he would be concerned or impressed.

After the four-hour class ended, most students rushed out while it wasn't high noon yet when most students go out to eat their lunch. Shi Qing Xuan stayed close to He Xuan, but he always stayed a step behind instead of walking directly beside him. He Xuan would have to keep slowing his pace and waiting for Shi Qing Xuan to walk up beside him.

He Xuan went over again to his favorite place that always gave him bigger portions for ordering so much. Seeing that he was with a friend this time, the ladies in the kitchen also gave Shi Qing Xuan bigger portions. They giggled and asked Shi Qing Xuan to come again and accompany their little He Xuan who looked like he was in a good mood for once. It was good that they didn't seem to mind that Shi Qing Xuan would only shyly smile and nod towards them.

It was almost impossible for He Xuan to ignore his food and be fixated on anything else, but right now he was staring intently at Shi Qing Xuan was seated across him. "Is there something on my face?" Shi Qing Xuan slowly showed the notebook to He Xuan, feeling his face heat up at the embarrassing thought.

He Xuan was snapped out of his daze and apologized quietly. "Were you born mute?" The words left his mouth before he could even process it. Shi Qing Xuan froze for a moment, unable to respond immediately to the sudden question. There was nothing wrong about asking it, but for Shi Qing Xuan's case, he really preferred not to answer.

"I'm sorry. Forget I asked." He Xuan quickly said and picked up his fork to eat. There was an awkward silence between them now, no longer the comforting silence that they usually shared since yesterday. 

A small notebook slid to the side of He Xuan's tray. The words were small and carefully written. "No. My voice stopped when my brother died a few years ago." They way he wrote 'stopped' made it unusual and left distaste in He Xuan's own tongue when reading it. But there was a truth in those words that He Xuan had yearned for. It meant that Shi Qing Xuan can in fact talk, but due to intense trauma, he would not make a single sound.

He Xuan didn't ask any further, since he could feel how uncomfortable Shi Qing Xuan was right now. "You don't have to tell me everything. But you're free to talk about it with me when you want to." 

Shi Qing Xuan smiled lightly and nodded his head.


End file.
